Dinner at Mad for Garlic yesterday, for the first time
Aaron’s birthday dinner celebration
Tried the pizza, the prawns, Lorla and I shared two mains
The others had a mushroom risotto, lobster pasta and salad..
Pretty decent meal, a little pricey compared to our usual dinners
But the food was good and it was something new for some of us
A good place for special occasions like birthdays or celebrations

Currently in search for a Grey’s Anatomy poster
I have weird and random “I must have it!” moments
Bought a 2012 wall Pixar wall calender for my room
Since my F.r.i.e.n.d.s 2011 is already over
Its hanging nicely above my laptop
With the month of January featuring the characters from Toy Story

A mental preparation for going on a shoot for the first time in a long time
I don’t only miss the thrill of the set
I miss the bantering of my crew, I miss the hosts, I miss my fellow PAs
For the clock to turn back to let me catch a glimpse of the past
And to relieve the moments again
I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I’m sure you have moments like these too (:

Do you know what it feels like, when you say goodbye, not knowing its the last?

Spent New year’s day at lunch with my extended family
Talking to my little cousins made me remember my primary school days wistfully
Headed to town after lunch with the two terrors
From losing a hairband and crying in the middle of Orchard Road,
to both sisters complaining that they were hungry
And after polishing off a huge ice cream cone, a cereal prawn,
Tori Q, Cheese Sausage, both promptly announced that they needed the toilet immediately, or else it would just “come out” on the floor in the middle of the shopping mall.

Imagine my horror.

So while my parents went about shopping
I scrambled to find a toilet and begged them to hold it in.
And in times of emergency such as this
I always wonder what the hell do girls do in the cubicle that
takes so long until the queue stretches out of the toilet entrance.
Well, suffice to say, (luckily for me, I might add)
I managed to get them both into the cubicle in time.
So after the escapade that I had with them
We proceeded back to Taka where they made a bee line for the sticker section
Spent a good half hour agonizing over what sticker to purchase
Made up their minds, gave their choices to me, and then asked if they could buy more things
What could I say? I merely sighed and nodded, which resulted in delighted squeals and another half an hour of waiting again.
Shopping aside, we had dinner at the basement of Taka
Really fussy eaters, the both of them.
Oh well, they’re still young, they’ll grow out of it soon.
I hope.

School’s starting next week, this trimester’s modules seem interesting enough
Just hope that the lecturers are also alright
Still waiting for results from last trimester
Not really quite sure what to expect though
On a brighter note, they’ll be back from Korea tonight
Can’t wait to see them, I miss our weekly gatherings

Have a great start to the New year!

Rock this club

First off, let me start by saying that I’m probably one of
the most indecisive person ever, I have my whims and fancies and I indulge in
Like this blog, which I have neglected (yet again) for the past 4 months?
Very very apologetic.
No, not to my readers.
Very certain that I dont have avid followers.
You should see the blog stats on my dashboard.
Downright embarrassing.
Apologetic to myself because I wanted to blog more often.
Helps keep me sane, keeps me free.

In case you’re wondering, changed my layout for my blog again
Couldn’t find a nice photo yet
So I just grabbed my current obsession with the cast of Grey’s Anatomy
Truly, even though it can be draggy at times
They have one of the best cast I’ve seen so far
Amazing actors and incredible scripts, huge huge fan of the show.

Now, let’s get back on track, shall we?

In this year, I’ve gained a tremendous amount of work experience
Made firm friends with colleagues that brings back fond memories
Applied for my degree course and am doing alright in school.
Turned 21 this year, along with several other close friends
Suffered heartbreaks and cried buckets.
Went to my first ever concert by the band I fell in love with when I was 10
Then they announced their split, and the buckets just spilled again.
Sent my brother off to UK for his studies
Lost my 5 month old blackberry
Ran 5km, something which you would scoff at, even I know I would
And so many little things that happened in this year.
A year that I can only sum up to be of lost and lessons.

This year I went through probably one of the worst heartbreak I ever had
And through it all, I told myself I’d never let me feel this way again
But sometimes, things that you vow to do (like constantly blogging)
You dont stick to such promises.
You think you can do it, you know you want to do it
But when someone else comes along, and treats you just a little nicer
You throw caution to the wind and you leap off the cliff again.
It took me a really long time to get over and to just be me again
And the journey, no doubt, has made me stronger.
But sadly, it didn’t make me any wiser.

I can deny it, but I still think that I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Most times, reason and logic just don’t sit well with feelings.
Its till the very end, when you know you’re about to lose it all
Then you begin to realise, how silly you were in the first place
And all of this could be avoided if you actually listened to yourself initially.

I saw this line on the internet and I was musing over how true it was -
Relationships start with, ‘You are different’ and ends with, ‘You are all the same’
Granted, not everyone is the same, but the ending of a relationship, its the same.
You go through nights of crying, days of heartache and months of wondering why,
how and when, did things start to go wrong.
And then you realise that it doesnt really matter
Because no matter how much you rack your brains over it
It wont change the outcome, it won’t bring back your romance.
Its like a summer’s breeze, gone before you even know it.
Enough about love, I think that is something I might have to close off for awhile
Even though this time I tell myself don’t leap off so fast
The future doesn’t tell you what’s in store
It only lets your past prepare you for the present.

2011 has also taught me a very important lesson
That one should never judge, before understanding a person.
Sure, we all preach it, don’t judge a book by it’s cover
And yeah, let’s all admit, that we’re guilty.
We take a look at a young teen mom and make snide comments
A teenager with cut scars on her hand and whisper
A fellow colleague who is slow at doing things
A parent who constantly yells
Sometimes, when you actually bother to look behind the things they do
How they appear on the surface, you’ll actually see reason
And find understanding on why they do certain things
Behave in a certain manner.

They key to understanding a person is really very important
It makes you a better person, with a much bigger heart
With understanding comes empathy, and you’ll not judge so harshly
Yet, you’ll try to find ways to help the person
To make life a little less miserable, and add a touch of color to their lives.
Because you care, enough not to judge, but to go that extra mile.
I want to be like that, to be able to judge less and understand more.
This is my resolution for 2012, even if its for a year and we all die by 2013.
Who knows?

Well, its 3 in the afternoon and the sun’s been really good these few days
Time for a bath for my soft toys soon
Yes, I know, 21 and still talking to soft toys.
Hey, remember, empathy okay…

Lunch at my uncle’s with my family, don’t you just love family gatherings?
Some shopping tomorrow on the first day of the new year
Hopefully there’s a good bargain in town
A haircut soon, probably in a week or two
And then Chinese New year
Birthdays that will come and go
And before you know it, 2012 will be over just like that.
Make the most of it, won’t you?

I know I’ll try (:

Wishing you a happy and blessed new year ahead!

The light in the dark

Biggest klutz ever
Burnt my hand by hot oil while making popcorn
Just for the fun of it
I’ll always remember the good times we shared
Thank you (:

Countdown to the next trimester in school
Still waiting for final results of the previous sem
Guess its bye to my lovelies cause I wont be seeing them tomorrow

Before school starts
A little fun to prep myself
Cannot wait for next week to come
Good things and more
Please continue to come this way
Though I’d welcome the bad ones to stay balanced

Its gone to far for us to rewind

Sink into despair, fold your hands in prayer

You know as well as I, that we’re headed for disaster
A mistake I vowed never to put myself through
Its just reliving the past, the pain
Like it never even stopped, only amplified
And I wonder why I do what I do
Inflicting pain on the raw wound
Till it burns and till I tear
I put a halt to the attacks
My wounds begin to heal
But I know its just a matter of time
Before I repeat the vicious process again
Time and again
I question why I never learn
Why I constantly put myself through all these pain
But then again, so do you, and everyone else

We do it not because of faith
But for the sutbborn little voice that refuses to concded defeat

For now, I’m taking back my faith
Cause you gave me the world
Only to take it all away
All you left was yesterday
Cause its tearing me apart
I can’t even bring myself to heal
Just like the wind
Felt, not seen
Remembered, but still unloved.

In order to forget, you have to remember

Worked at a one day job
Running around with a team of 5 women
I’m losing my touch
USS for the third time
Not bragging, just merely saying the battlestars aint scary no more.
Should really consider checking into a asylum cause I dont recall anyone laughing as hard as we did while on the rides
You guys, I miss the times we spent there
See you on Friday (:

So many things going on around me
Little time to think, to feel and to even act on them
I feel relieved, in some ways, thankful, even.
Cause you letting me go is probably the best thing you ever did for me
Its hard, and I’m still trying, but I’m healing
Never meant to hurt you the way i did
Just wanted you to know that and not to think of me badly
Wish things were simpler, that life can be just black and white
It never is, with shades of grey that cloud our judgments
I just hope that I’m not making another mistake again
Cause I only have so much faith in me to believe

Thank you, for being there.
Thank you all.

Roller coaster kinda rush that you give me

Lets start by reviewing the previous movies made
The first to the third one were pretty right on track
They followed the book closely
I thought the casting director was amazing in choosing the cast
Then came the fourth movie
Not that I dont like Robert P.
I just never pictured him as a “Cedric”
Then the order of phoenix came along
Can honestly say that was a pretty disappointing movie
I know they say budget’s tight and all
And you cant possibly follow the book
But why do they have to change the facts?
Irks me everytime I see the facts being changed from the book
Perhaps its a fan thing

When I began reading harry potter 11 years ago
I create images in my mind
Thats how I read.
I picture the scene in my head
How they play out and how it would really look
So naturally when the movies came out
And the first two were marvellous
I thought it would extend to all the seven books

When JK Rowling finished the last book
I read it, in my mind with every single character of the movie
Playing in my head
I would imagine Alan Rickman as Snape
Sneering into Harry’s face
I loved Richard Harris as Dumbledore
And even after his death
Whenever I read Harry Potter books
He’s face would appear in my mind when I read the word “Dumbledore”
Its kinda like placing a face to each of the characters
I imagined how it would be like for McGonagall to scream
When Harry died, just the way the book described it

I never expected so much to change in the last film
With all the media publicity and the press releases
That this film would not disappoint, that it would remain true
Perhaps 70% of it did
But the other thirty percent of changes is enough to irk a Harry Potter fan
The way the Harry broke the elder wand
The weird scenes of kisses that they showed
Little things that I really wished that they didnt change that much

I suppose movies are never really as good as a book gets

This week and next, assignments and tests
Such a bad headache that I want it to go away
Alone at night, I wonder how you could have done what you did
To hurt her so badly and continue doing so
And why she’s not learn, and she still lets you
You amaze me sometimes, and I wish you would hurt the same

Man in the middle of this complicated plan

Beneath the oak tree, a young girl sits
Her feet tucked under, marveling the softness of the grass
A sketch pad in her hands as she tries to paint the world
Snuggled in the crook of her arms, her little sister dreams
An occasional breeze catches the curl of her hair
She gently smooths it back for her, humming a lullaby
Sometimes, a frown appears and she soothes it away
Knowing that even in sleep, your troubles are never really gone

I watch from a distance, keep a close eye on them
The little sister stirs, and she shifts her stance on her
She settles her in her lap as she listens to the nightmare that ended

The little girl’s face puckers into a frown and slowly a tear falls
I started forward, wanting to comfort her, but something stops me
She cradles her sister, rocking her back and forth gently
She says, they’ll never leave you alone
They’ll always be there, reminding you, hurting you
It doesn’t mean you can never fall asleep
It just means you know that they’ll be there
You won’t ever stop being afraid
And by knowing, you’ll always be prepared

I marvel at her wisdom, her love and her life
The little girl sniffles and scrubs her eyes
And she asks something that I know she can’t answer
Because the answer would shatter her world
Yet, I see her plaster a smile over her face
Murmuring, she gathers her sister close again
But from where I stand, I hear the breaking of three hearts.

” I’ll never be the same again, will I?”

Journey of hope

Standing in front of yourself
Peering into the still waters
Even glancing past a blurred surface
What do you see?

It shimmers but it slowly comes into place
The mesmerizing oval of your eyes
The lush curve of your lips
The curl of your hair that teases
Do you ever go beyond that
Can you see what I see
Beneath the surface that the world sees?

The sparkle in your eyes
The amusement lingering on your smile
The curve on your face
The sweetness of the skin
The grace of your hands
The wisdom of your touch
Perfection’s just too boring
So I’m constantly searching for flaws
To see past them, to redefine what’s beauty

But sometimes, even the flaws of you can be too much to take
When the scar burns and no longer heals
You’re left with a ugly reminder of what was
I see the pain that etched in her face
When she remembers the day her world fell apart

The wound that never heals
The blade that continues to strike
And you remember that you’re not alone in this pain
Cause you and I, we’ve both been there before
And I know when you feel like you cant breathe
When there’s no place to scar anymore
Yet the blade’s still at work
Because you know you’ll never forget this pain
And when you try to erase the memories
It burns just like adding salt to an open wound

The necessity to let go
You’ll never stop hurting
When the permanent scars stop bleeding
Reach out to take someone else’s hand

Where the sunbeams shine

Celebrated Leeyan’s birthday over the weekend
Time really does fly by
Its been seven months into 2011
And as of now, I can barely remember what I’ve been doing
Work, School, Friends, Birthdays and Dinners
I know I’ll miss it in years to come

Daphne’s coming back for a short while
Superduperuber big bear hug for this love
Sometimes I miss the way we used to be
But I know the future is brighter
Cause they’ll always be by my side

Currently hooked onto Grey’s Anatomy again
Waiting for Season 8 to come out
Along with Desperate Housewives
I need to find more entertainment in my life

Back to doing my report
Doesn’t that sound exciting?

Wrap me in a bubble
Then place me on a mountain
Cause I wanna see the world as it is
Just like the eagles from above

I’m searching for a place to hide